amazing. I know she had a lot of fun. I'd be a little Things are still going pretty well. Kalei and I went to the mall yesterday in Orlando and got a few cool things. The day was actually really great. We finally had time for just us and it was truly amazing. I think I'd be afraid to tell her this but I think I've fallen in love with her all over again.

Its been a few day since the last post. There's not too much going on. Me and Kalei are going to go shopping and a bunch of different things on Wednesday then on Sunday we might go to Busch Gardens again. Other than that, things are great. I got my promotion at work which came with a $.75 raise. I'm pretty much just wanting to hang out until the summer starts and the fun really gets started...

Love is a verb too

I can't change this blog now just because I know Kalei can read it. That would be stupid anyways. We had a pretty big talk about things last night that lasted until about 3:30 in the morning. We finally got around to talking about the Christina thing like I had hoped and then it got a little deeper.

Kalei told me she thought things had changed between the two of us and in my own weird way i sort of agreed with her. I don't know what has actually changed but it feels different. We talked a lot but it seemed no matter how much she said i couldn't feel settled about the situation. I keep thinking that she doesn't want to be with me as much anymore.

I don't know how to tell her that the best part of my whole life is her. I may say that I feel like I'm in the relationship by myself but its not true. It has taken me a long time to realize that she is actually giving me everything that she can. Kalei puts me before everyone of her friends and every chance she gets.

The best part of me is you.

Kalei and her best friend are fighting and have been for a few weeks now. They don't talk to each on the phone so they only way they voluntarily communicate is through myspace messages and me. Her "friend" Christina is upset that Kalei doesn't ever call her or make time to hang out with her. Kalei does have a pretty busy life, not because of the things she is doing, but because of how big her family is. She's expected to look after 7 brothers and sisters. I know how hard it is. I try to spend as much time over there as I can and I try to help out as much as possible while I'm there so I know that it can be very draining but pretty damn rewarding at the same time. It took me a while to understand the way her family works. Family is the most important thing to them. It was hard for me to swallow the fact that I don't come first but once I did it got a lot easier. Christina doesn't know Kalei like I do and I don't think she ever will. That's why she doesn't understand what Kalei has to go through. I will always be there for Kalei. No matter what. I also know that I have to go to Kalei to keep communication open because she's just not that kind of person. She's had to deal with a lot of shit in her life already and I just want to make things a little easier on her. I may not be a shining example of that but I'm trying very hard. I love Kalei. So fuck Christina. If she can't accept people for who they are, take a hike.

The macbook pro works great. It's such a great computer. The design and functionality of this thing is amazing. I'm glad I got it. I have no complaints other than the fact that my treo 680 wont syn with isync without having to do a lot of different steps and that the phone wont pair itself with my address book.

I got drunk and cussed Kalei out the other night. Things are fine now. I don't know what set me off but I think the whole month of fighting is over. Good timing too because I was about to loose my mind and I have a feeling that she was about to as well. I'm glad she didn't break up with me and I'm even more glad that she yelled right back. She's pretty amazing. I'm too afraid to really ask her to spend the rest of my life with her... Shit.

I interviewed for my promotion this evening at work. I think that i let my nerves get to me a little too much in the beginning and I think it showed. I showed them all the projects I was working on and I think Irene was pleased with all that I'm doing. I talked with Brian after the interview and he said she signed off on me to go ahead with the promotion. They both are going to email Beth to see whether or not she's wants to interview me or just go ahead and promote me. Me and Beth get along really well and we've talked a lot before so she may just feel good enough to just promote me. We'll see in the next few days.

I haven't been sleeping well. It may have to do with the time change. I've been getting to bed really late and waking up even later.

I'm going to see if Kalei wil come over on Wednesday and just hang out with me but it's sort of like pulling teeth with her. I'll pray some for this one. I really just want to mess round more than anything. Who cares about watching movies.

I've fallen back in love with my mac mini and have been using it for the past two weeks. It's slow as shit which prompted me to go ahead and buy a new macbook pro. The macbook was a little expensive but it'll be pretty much the only computer I'll use. The computer is going to arrive tomorrow. Hopefully. We'll see what happens.

Its been a year since I've written... I have a girlfriend since we've last spoken. She and I have been "together" for almost a year (wtf). Its pretty much been me buying her things that girlfriends like and putting up with her shit but she makes me happy. Her name is Kalei and I'd like to introduce her to everyone. We fight. More times than not.

Recently, she's brought up the idea of a break, which to me means something is wrong yet you wont tell me. If she wants time to herself, she should just politely ignore me. That way i know its time for me to get inebriated and listen to music.

I will no longer bitch to anyone about a relationship problem. I don't want people to know. I'm only realizing tonight that I would be much happier if I didn't talk to people. I find when I keep to myself, people have less ammunition to use against me.

More to follow.

Less scattered thoughts.